Thursday, January 31, 2008

Pheedsician, Heald Dyself

I habd not been wridting ford a whilde now, becuz I'bd down wid dis derrible colde.

Post wasabi decongestant treatment:
(I have not been writing for a while now, because I'm down with this terrible cold).

I remember growing up, I didn't really get sick that often. Actually, let me define that. I didn't get sick enough not to go to school that often.

That boils down to two reasons:
1) You wanted that perfect 100% attendance record, and so come hail or high temperature, you made it to school.

2) Mum didn't have much sympathy for us when we were sick (sorry, Mum, it's true!). I remember there were days when I had such a sore throat it felt like I was swallowing razor blades, and didn't want to get out of bed, but Mum would tell me to stop faking it, and I would get so worked up I would drag myself out of bed, into that cold shower and then to school. Just to show her.

I think that Dad being the way he was, Mum stressed a bit when we were sick, and so we tried not to be.

The one time that I did remember Mum fussing over me when I was sick was when I had the dengue. It was either life-threatening or it was school for us.

(Okay, it wasn't that bad, Mum. Haha!)

But enough about that - I have been quite a sickly person growing up. I remember a particular college day when I turned up puffy eyed and runny nosed to the lecture theatre. I was going through rolls and rolls of toilet roll paper (see how glamourous your Dad was, children!), forming a sea of scrunched up mucus-soaked tissues, when a (somewhat attractive) female classmate sitting next to me turned and said, kindly, "You're some kind of weakling aren't you?".

Ouch. In that one phrase I sat emasculated, my testosterone scattered over the little wads of tissue paper on that lecture theatre foldaway desktop.

I think that it is ironic that I have not received much sympathy for my illnesses as I was growing up - no one really fussed over me, and illness was often taken as a sign of weakness. And now, here I am - in a medical profession, tending to the cries of the unwell and those in pain.

Now that I am working, I thank God for keeping me relatively healthy in my two years of work - in my first year, I took a total of two unavoidable days off due to gastro (I only stopped going because one of the outpatient nurses started developing similar symptoms).

I was almost in perfect attendance for my second year, when right at the final two days, today and yesterday - I have needed to take them off because of this horrible flu/sore throat that has kept me prisoner within the confines of my bedroom. I am starting to feel better now, though.

One of my bosses made this note - and he was right, that sometimes as doctors, we are the worst people at looking after ourselves.

That's why my lovely wife will one day fuss over me when I'm sick, there will be warm blankets and chicken soup, with whispered prayers and calming words and lullabies.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Life to the Full

Working nights for the past 2 weeks has just me physically and emotionally drained - don't get me wrong, I really love my current intensive care job but nights can really take it out of you. You're the only doctor there overnight (with a poorly slept consultant on the phone) and you attend to all the emergency calls on the wards or the sickies down in Emergency.

Granted, it is a great learning experience, but there are sufficient amounts of what we'd like to call in the profession as 'Oh sh*t!' moments - those moments of abject horror - pupils dilated, breath caught in mouth, heart and mind racing. Or being caught in between the boss' decision and the experience of the nursing staff or the decision of family members.

The sitting down with family, the lending of sympathetic ears and sensitive hearts as you lead them through the critical illness of their loved one, and the often difficult discussion of limiting medical treatment in a sick patient - that is the trickiest part really.

People often feel responsible for the life of their loved ones, and often find it hard to understand why a doctor is saying that it wouldn't be kind to their aged, frail parent to stick all kinds of tubes down their throats and needles into the body to keep them alive.

Such is the dual blessing/curse of modern medicine that sometimes we do not allow the severely ill patient a dignified death - we are pictured as the guardians at death's gate holding all these chalices filled with magic potions, fending death off with a spray here and an incantation there.

It is a privilege of being in medicine to walk with the families during their difficult times, but it can be sometimes as frustrating as it is fulfilling - occasionally their demands can be beyond the realms of reason. But it is the passage of time, and the art and sensitivity of bringing the family around to the understanding that we are limited as doctors despite all our life-giving elixirs, and to allow their loved ones a kinder passage into the eventuality that greets us all in the end.

It is physically and emotionally draining, this job. I remember a good friend in Malaysia who's a doctor, saying that she was just so depleted that she was crying in her car all the way home. I'm letting the tears flow more easily these days.

No shame in that.

Friday, January 11, 2008

No Rest For The Wicked

Total number of hours of sleep the night before: One and a half hours, on my day off.

Sleep deprivation checklist:
1) Headache (No.)
2) Tired (No.)
3) Yawning (No.)
4) Seeing purple cows travelling across the front of my eyes (They're so pretty...
... No.)
5) Mixing up my words (Dofinetily net, I mean daffinately knot.)

I tried to go to bed today at 5 in the morning, but I couldn't so instead I:
1) Showered.
2) Went out for a 6 am jog, and swallowed some flies.
3) Realised that I needed to shower again. Showered again.
4) Looked around the toilet, and noticed a colony of mosquitoes. Figured I didn't let the flies live, so the mosquitoes must die.

(No, I didn't swallow them. At first.)

This shift work is really messing with my sleep system. Now I know how archit(ec/or)ture (with apologies to HY) students must feel like.

The most exciting things that I have done in the past few days (apart from swallowing insects):

1. Reading: To those keeping tabs on my reading habits, I have just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khalid Hosseini. This is a really well-written novel exploring two womens' lives in Afghanistan against the backdrop of the political changes there. Those of you who know my reading habits know that I love reading literature from other cultures.

2. Watching : Speaking about literature from other cultures, I finally got to watch the film adaptation of Niccolo Ammaniti's I'm Not Scared (I need to extend my Top 5 reads list). I really love reading books about children adventures too (yes, I'm still reading Famous Five. What are you going to do about it? Be cross with me?) and the film was a beautiful rendition of the story. The rolling Italian wheatgrass hills against the intensely blue skies proved a majestic backdrop to this coming-of-age thriller.

3. Eating. I have finally succumbed to the pressure and have brought my Mum to MART station for breakfast. Loved the cornfritters. Decided that I am not a big fan of berries, although the French toast was magnifique. Mum later pointed out that I should have added the maple syrup. Only a woman of refined taste could have told me that. Come to think of it, a woman with common sense could have told me that.

4. Exciting. I was just lazily browsing the internet when I made my regular trip to liverpoolfc.tv, and I read a letter from a Singaporean fan to the football club. I was reading the article and going like, This girl knows what she's talking about, I've felt that way too!

Strangely enough, the more I read it, the more I felt like I've heard it before. I read the name on top, and realised that it was a written by a good friend of mine who's a fellow supporter as well!
Congratulations Jan! (one day I'll even let you read my blog. Hahaha!)

Anyways, to those who do read my blog, thank you, and it always warms my heart when you leave comments, it inspires me to write more! (which isn't always a good thing!)

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Dander Nawngs

Ah, summer, where the days are hot and the nights... are just as hot. Where the stifling heat induces a lethargy causing one Malaysian boy to laze about in his couch and watch the cricket.

"How much cricket have you watched, HK?" I hear you ask.

I have watched so much cricket, I nearly understand the game now. That's how much cricket I've been watching!

I'm just glad Mum is here, and also if you haven't been updated yet, my brother has a girlfriend now!

(WHAT??!! I hear a scream all the way from Melaka/Kuala Lumpur. I can see her as she speeds off in her car towards the airplane, driving at breakneck speeds down highways, screeching to a halt in front of the KLIA, jumping out, infiltrating her way past the security guards, getting onto the airplane, getting off at Melbourne International, desperately flagging a taxi, hurrying the poor taxi driver to our address, slamming the taxi door as she gets out, ringing fervently at the doorbell, and then when my brother opens the door, she slaps him across the face and asks, "WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?"

Soon, little sis. Soon.

I was just about to ring you and then you showed up in front of the house already...)

Anyways, because Mum is here, we've got to do all the fun things that we normally wouldn't have done before! And we decided to visit the Dandenongs today! The Dandenongs is this beautiful mountain ranges about an hour's drive away from the city, and it has two main features:

1) Breathtaking sceneries and fairytale quality forests

2) Restaurants that have tried to retain a certain British country charm about them.

We made the drive up today, and Mum was equipped with her brand new state-of-the-art pink hat to face the blazing sun. We started off in the mornings at this beautiful vantage point called the SkyHigh Viewpoint. It was a cloudless day and we could see Melbourne sprawled before us:

We lost a dollar in this telescope machine because my brother and my mother read the words ' Out Of Order' out of order. I wish I was making this up.

What is my brother looking for?

Found her! And now, to locate a chiropactor.

There's a trend developing here: We have something against tables.

Mum with the right hat for the occasion. This is like something out of an Enid Blyton book. I offered her my pink cowboy hat, but she rightfully refused.

My brother and D said something to offend me, so I shrunk them, but only for awhile.

We had our fill of photos and panorama, and then moved on to Olinde, one of the nearby stuck-in-the-1800s-English-towns, and had a wonderful lunch at a lovely restaurant called Pie In The Sky (cleverly named, but, the acronym is not flattering at all!):

We had our pick of food...

The food was great, but there was an intense shortage of chairs...

There were some marvellous pies up there, and I really enjoyed my beef curry one, but I thought that the ones my brother and D had, with burgundy and Guinness had that extra zing about it! (My brother was drunk and singing Christmas carols loudly by the third bite!)

We had our fill, and Mum browsed around in the local shops for awhile, before we finally headed down towards Sassafras, for the legendary Miss Marple's teahouse. This teahouse is based on a character from an Agatha Christie novel, and serves really good scones and desserts. We were full but that didn't stop us. Nothing has stopped us since Christmas Eve, come to think of it.

Bliss.

In the foreground is the scones for which the place places it reputation. There is a lovely intense strawberry jam and whipped cream which goes with it. Mah-vellous, deah!

The ice cream in the corner was called 'the Vicar's folly'. It should have been called 'The Road to Hell Is Paved With...' It was sinfully delicious! There was whipped cream, hazelnut ice cream, and big broken Crunchie bits added into the ice cream! Can you see the satisfied furrowing of my eyebrows and the soft guttural 'Uumph' arising from my mouth as I bite into this one?

"Don't you watch your calories?" "Yup, for about three seconds before I devour them!" (old joke!)

"Wait! We're not ready to take the shot yet!"

"Okay, NOW we're ready!"


Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas was last month,
We'll continue, to use the store, as a money laundering front!


And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, New Year's resolution decimated to nothingness in less than a week. For advice and guidance on discipline and self-restraint, please read someone else's blog. Happy New Year!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Enchante!

Happy New Year 2008 to all my reader(?s)! (Yes, you, Happy New Year!)

I hope that you've all had a wonderful New Year's Eve watching fireworks going off all over the world, but have had some time to reflect on 2007 and time to make some resolutions for 2008.

Top 10+1 resolutions for 2008:
1. I
2. will
3. not
4. eat
5. as
6. much
7. as
8. I
9. have
10. over
11. Christmas.

I am fat. I have never been this fat. I have been pregnant and have never been this fat. I am so fat that the Michelin man has told me to lose weight.

I have finally come to an end of another seven day shift. It has been a really interesting week as well. Who would have thought that I would be speaking from someone from the Korean embassy during my week of work! (Ask me the story! I will tell it to you if you say I look like one of the F4 boys!)

Despite working eleven hour days, I managed to get to the beach yesterday with my brother, mum, K and D - it was a little cold but we really had so much fun on the beach - my mum has been a revelation! She has been really sporting about joining us in our games - it's really good to see!

And by the way - for all those who are young at heart - there is one show that you must catch before it leaves the big screens!:


picture from Walt Disney (tm)

This is really a brilliant idea from Disney and although the plot is deliberately predictable, it has so many endearing features about it that you can't help but feel a warmth in your heart and keep a smile on your face throughout the movie!

I know that some of you will definitely love it to bits! Go see it with like minded friends who keep a small part of their hearts for happy endings, princess tiaras, true love kisses and valiant princes on horseback! The acting is spectacular especially from the princess acted to perfection by Amy Adams!

(I lied, I still have crushes!)

Stop reading this! Go watch it now!